During the height of my quarter-life crisis I would begin many of my sessions with my coach feeling either depressed, anxious, or an uncomfortable combination of both. I blamed my state of discontent on the fact that things in my life just were not going the way I wanted. My coach would say to me, “You gotta live in out and not out in!!” This was a critical lesson for me since I really bought into the misunderstanding that in order to feel better, things in my external world had to be better.
Most of us rely too much on what is happening or not happening in our life to determine what kind of mood we’re in. It’s as if the circumstances of life become the conductor of our thoughts, feelings and behaviors. And once we’ve boarded this out in train, we enter into a cycle of looking for something outside of us to ease the uneasiness inside. But often that uneasiness inside is simply a reaction to the opinion we are forming about the outside world. Rather than trying to change what is happening (which is often impossible), do an inside job and change your perception.
So consider what you are currently allowing to determine your mood. Are you more orientated to an out in way of feeling? If so, I encourage you to turn yourself inside out and take your mood back into your own hands. Doesn’t it feel good to know you don’t have to wait for someone or something else to do it for you? You are capable of determining your own inner experience no matter what is going on outside of you.
I understand at times this feels especially challenging. Life is not stingy with opportunities to learn how to be more content within ourselves no matter what; however, life is also very generous when we are less stingy with ourselves. It’s time to gift yourself with those great feelings you may have been projecting on something outside of you.
Christine Hassler, best-selling author of 'Twenty-something, Twenty-everything,' supports individuals in discovering the answers to the questions: "Who Am I, What do I want, and How do I get it?" She is a Life Coach with a counseling emphasis specializing in relationships, career, money, personal development and spiritual growth. She will be presenting on 'The Myth of Having it All' at the Forté women's MBA conference on Friday, June 29.